The first Day of Ulpan

I was wondering when to write the next entry and what it would entail. Today was my first real day at the ulpan (Hebrew class) on May 1, 2007. This class started 3 weeks ago and is a beginner class that that is 5 days per week from 8:15 AM until 12:45. Since I lack even the most basic vocabulary, the administrator told me to try it and see if I could keep up or follow. There is no English spoken in the class. It's ALL Hebrew. OK, it's basic stuff though. My ego wanted to prove that I could somehow hang and I did. Therefore, although it took three weeks to get in a class, I jumped into a class that started three weeks before. I figure that makes us even.

It was so much fun. I was gitty with excitement. The teacher, (in her early 50's) was energetic, engaging, and patient. I sat in the back row along with the young french woman that had been practicing writing in Hebrew cursive with me. I had spent nearly three weeks chomping at the bit and often bored, wondering what I would do with my days. I now had a purpose. Besides learning the language, it was so exciting to be sitting among and belonging to a group of new immigrants in the land of Israel. Most people were young but there were a couple of folks older than I. There were around 30 people in the class. Without really trying, I know that, in that class alone, there were people from Colombia, Argentina, Brazil, Australia, Russia, Jordan (an employee of the Embassy), France, the USA, and Spain. I didn't get to check the other three rows. I keep thinking of the two guys that work for AIPAC that told me they met their wives at this ulpan. No expectations... It's just exciting to be a part of the world coming together to be a part of building this young and tiny country that happens to be in a very dangerous neighborhood.

There were many non-Jews as well as Jews. The French couple that I had known because the wife was in the cursive-writing class with me had moved here because of anti-semitism in France. They were Jewish. However, several non-Jewish women had come because they fell in love with Israelis that had come to visit their countries. I already mentioned the diplomat from Jordan. I got to speak French, Spanish, and Portuguese. I assume some were the Philipinos that come over here to work as nanny's. You often see them walking with the elderly.

Those that already know Hebrew need not read the following as you have already lived it and heard the jokes too many times. But, I don't think I can leave out the words that gave all Hebrew/English speakers a chuckle while learning.

The first words are how you pronounce the Hebrew word and the second is the meaning in English:

• He is She
• She-ee is 6th
• Who is He
• Me is Who
• Atem is Y'all
• Dog is Fish
• Hem is They
• "Your a coat" is Vegetables
• Achh is Brother
• Meats is Juice
• Boy means Come (if said to a girl)

I'm sure I'll come across dozens more.

Below is a link to a version of Abbot and Costello go to Israel.

http://stuff.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/netsam/hebrewLesson.html

I plan to carry this enthusiasm with me through the classes. I can now say, "I live in a tiny apartment in a big building on the 1st floor and I take bus number 5 to study at the ulpan." They should pin an "I'm lost. Please take me to Ulpan Gordon" pin on my collar.

L'hitraot,

Randy