Back Home to Israel

I was sitting at the ATL airport awaiting my flight back to my home in Israel pondering my experience of this trip back to the USA. I was open and excited about the adventure last January of beginning my new life in the land of Israel and I entered with anticipation of the life I might lead in a new country with new friends, a career, and even a new family. I had spent so much of my life loving the thought of being in Israel having supporting her from so far away.

Yet, this moment is somber and does not contain the excitement and that I had last January. I had felt like a rock star leaving Atlanta for Tel Aviv. During the visit to the USA last winter (I had been in Israel for almost seven months), I felt that I had so many friends that wanted to spend time with the man who had dropped everything and moved abroad to follow his heart and ignore his head. His head knew that he would enjoy a higher standard of material living and convenience in the USA while his heart yearned for the land of Israel that he had argued for and passionately supported for so much of his life. I explained that I wanted to be a part of a land where there are cultures from so many corners of the world that were trying to come together to build a new country in the middle of a dangerous neighborhood. Many told me that they wished that they had the courage to follow their dreams and to not just take the easier path lain in front of them. During last winter’s trip, nights were filled with friends gathering in groups of 12 or 16 for dinners at happening bars and restaurants. It was good reinforcement to get support from close friends that gave me such positive energy. Perhaps I was looking for greater fulfillment than the race for consumption that is so conspicuous in the United States.


Why have I been so somber? I see one portion of reality every day in the mirror. I have begun a new career in a new country with no love in my life and no current prospects of love. I think that, in my mid-40's, that I should have be married with children and into the high point of a successful satisfying career. I should be taking my kids to ballet, coaching baseball practice and taking a leadership role in my local synagogue. Yet, I live in a one-room apartment overseas where I know few people and have just started a new career in a field where I have little experience. Seeing people my age and younger with spouses and children, does remind me of my loneliness. Further, although I am fortunate to have found a job that I have wanted to try, I am far from knowing the potential for success. I will have to work in the evenings to account for the time-zone difference. That will tap into any hope I have had of a social life.

I have wanted a routine and a work community in order to feel like I had a real life and to be engaged on the ground. Now that I have these, I have to think about how I will meet friends to develop support groups, make a difference here in this little country that is so resented by most of the world, and begin a family. I want these things and will create them. I am among an international crowd that has seen so many cultures and does not insist on conformity. You can be whomever you choose.

I like Israelis. I find them generally kind, warm, fun and nature-loving, and straightforward. The occasional gruff ones I believe are this way out of a defense mechanism. The use the cliché, “The best defense is a good offense”, is appropriate. Many have written about how they have had to be dual personality schizophrenics. They, in recent times, have to go to work and return home on a public transportation system, knowing full-well that the bus could spontaneously burst into flames and shrapnel could shred their clothes rip into their bodies. Yet, they had to live their lives routines and pretend things were normal. Tel Aviv, the secular city that wants to be New York, appears filled with residents that aren’t political. They are capitalist and want to enjoy life. They are mostly 20-somethings that gather in cafes, bars, and nightclubs trying to enjoy the present as no one really knows if there will be a long run. The country that is 60 years old has had few extended periods of peace. They are mostly all aware of the resentment of the country by the international community and they have mixed feelings about the operations in the Palestinian Territories. Most that I know would gladly give them up for peace. Yet, they know that a spontaneous withdrawal would lead to bombs raining down on the densely populated cities of Israel, Tel Aviv being ground zero.

My biggest kosher beef with the people of Tel Aviv is the cynicism and resignation. This is the easiest way to go through life: bitching and feeling powerless to make a difference; engaging in no action, either externally or internally. So many in Tel Aviv are amazed that a secular American would come here alone (Please don’t nod your head as you read this). Even as I write this in the bar next to my house, I amaze the person next to me that I moved from the USA to Israel out of idealism. They find it brave and don’t understand why one would leave the comforts and ease of life of the States. They tell me that “life is hard here”. I feel compelled to ask them to compare to the eastern countries instead of North America and Western Europe. The standard of living is much higher than these countries. OK, so a Toyota Corolla costs $85,000. Taxes are very high, wages are far below the USA, and prices for all consumer goods are much higher. It IS harder to have the material standards of the USA. Cluster mansions and leather-encrusted BMW’s are not going to happen here.

The States are seductive with huge new bright clean cities, cluster mansions, drinkable water, cheap goods and cheap food, BMW's Mercedes, Lexus cars are often the norm. Everything is in abundance. Ski trips, beach trips, gym memberships are all affordable. Why are things so cheap? I think of those beach and camping chairs that we have, the ones that slide into the canvass bag, that, through the wonders of modern engineering, miraculously expand and unfold and even have a cup holder. They cost seven bucks! There is no way that one can produce the tubing, canvass, plastic, etc, in so many places, assemble it in Asia, ship it to the USA, and get it through the wholesaler to the retailer, and have the retailer make a profit at seven bucks. The things weigh more then 15 pounds. How do they do that? OK, I went off on a tangent.

There is something refreshing about the just getting by culture and that out-blinging others with designer clothing, jewelry or cars is not part of the culture here. OK, so I don’t get the shaved head and tattoo trends, but I like that men drastically under dress here. T-shirts, shorts, flip flops and unshaven faces are the norm. People interact in this big city. It’s the norm. You often cannot tell the wealthy man from the pauper when they are on the street. It feels like a very flat society. You do not condescend to the waiters and taxi drivers as they might well be the person that invites you to their family’s home for a Shabbat dinner or religious holiday. Israelis will not knowingly let you spend a holiday away from family. You will be with someone’s family.

I have been anxious about my job where I am on a 90 day trial period and I have no guidance or idea of how I am to be judged. Plus, I’ve never done this before. I really want to do it but I am stumbling through it and have trouble knowing what to do next. I will work it out but it’s stressful as I have not yet been promised a future there. My job is to seek international real investments and joint venture partners for an Israeli private equity syndicator. I talked them into giving me a chance and I am determined to make my mark. My Hebrew is very weak so it is difficult to read internal emails. Meetings are all in Hebrew and I am lucky to catch ten percent. The pay is a small fraction of a comparable job in the USA.



I have a few wonderful people that look out for me and include me with their families. I have had poor luck with dates and I am not into the bar scene where you can meet women. I rely on being set up but I have had very little luck with that. My emotions are erratic but I allow myself to go through them. Tears from loneliness and tears from joy and inspiration. I have a routine but I feel so alive. I am in Eretz Israel, the Land of Israel; the Jewish homeland.